A good divorce is not always possible. In my experience do not expect a good divorce when one or both spouses have had an affair. That level of hurt is rarely mendable. When it can be done, it’s wonderful but usually, no.
What makes a good divorce? What is the motivation? Usually it’s the kids. But it can be for the spiritual and emotional well-being of the divorced spouses as well. People who despite the pain and raw feelings, find a way to reach out to each other for the sake of their vulnerable children, like each other and themselves more.
7 Steps to get to the Good Divorce
1. Do not run each other down on front of the kids.
2. Find a way to communicate often.
3. Work out financial problems with an expert.
4. Provide consistency across households for the kid’s sake.
5. Come to a consensus on how to address important situations regarding the kids
6. Meet with helping professionals, teachers, counselors, together whenever possible.
7. Go to the kids performances, games, exhibitions, science fairs and sit together whenever possible.
By doing these things “for the children” you may also find a glimmer of respect among the ruins of your ended marriage.
The Spiritual Divorce: Divorce as a Catalyst for an Extraordinary Life by Debbie Ford
Here is an article from the NYT on The Good Divorce.
Elvira G. Aletta, PhD, Founder & CEO
Author of 7 Rules For Living Well With Chronic Illness
Life gave Dr. Aletta the opportunity to know what it’s like to hurt physically and emotionally. After an episode of serious depression in her mid-twenties, Dr. Aletta was diagnosed with a rare kidney disease that relapsed throughout her adulthood. While treatable, the cure was often as hard to bear as the disease. Later she was diagnosed with scleroderma, another chronic illness.
Throughout, Dr. Aletta battled with anxiety. Despite all this, Dr. Aletta wants you to know, you can learn to engage in life again on your terms.
Good therapy helped Dr. Aletta. She knows good therapy can help you. That’s why she created Explore What’s Next.
Today Dr. Aletta enjoys mentoring the EWN therapists, focusing on coaching and psychotherapy clients, writing and speaking. She is proud and confident that Explore What’s Next can provide you with therapists who will help you regain a sense of safety, control and joy.
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