New Year’s resolutions. Just the words make my heart a little sad. What we need is a New Years resolution makeover! A resolution revolution if you will! I propose throwing those negative, judgy, restricting resolutions into the Explore What’s Next Transformer to see what comes out. You should know the EWN Transformer was designed specifically to magically change negative, judgy, restrictive ideas into whole-hearted, reasonable, embracing ideas! Doesn’t that sound like fun? OK! Here we go!
“I resolve to have more sex,” transforms into, “ I will look for opportunities for intimacy.”
Despite what we, for some reason, were raised to think, not all sex is intimate and not all intimacy is sexual. True intimacy is simply knowing a person from the inside out, who they are, what makes them tick, what makes them light up, what makes them sigh. You could have the most intimate moment with your partner without touching them, just by a glance, a smile at an unspoken shared moment. Now that’s hot!
“I will lose ten pounds,” yes, that old chestnut, becomes, “I will enjoy food more.”
Eating with purpose, mindfully, slowly, savoring, yum! If you do this, you automatically respect not just food in all its wonderful, colorful, scents, tastes and textures, but also yourself eating food. Happiness all around!
“I will save more money,” translates into, “I will talk with a good financial advisor.”
Just like a consult with a good therapist, I believe everyone should see a good financial advisor at least once in their life. To view money and its possibilities from a professional’s point of view is a revelation. They bring the intimidating, scary myths about money down to earth for us financially challenged mortals.
“I will exercise more,” becomes “I will enjoy and appreciate my body by simply being more aware of how I move.”
Because of illness, trauma or other physical limitation, some of us can’t put on a pair of sneakers, much less go for a run. Even a yoga class feels like a mountain too high, a bridge too far. It’s good to remember that you have a body and there are parts of it that may miss you. Perhaps gently stretching, dancing to a favorite song, walking slowly, one foot in front of the other, arms swaying, is the start of a new happy conversation with your body.
“I resolve to have my life figured out by the end of the year” turns into, “I will talk with a good therapist.”
Take the pressure off! You do not need to have it all figured out by yourself. That’s just too hard for most of us. Adulting is complex and challenging! How anyone gets through it without talking with an Explore What’s Next therapist is beyond me and I’m only slightly kidding! Without the therapy I had in my twenties and again later in my thirties, I would not be nearly as satisfied with life as I am today. In fact, I have no idea where I’d be right now. Well, thank goodness, that’s not what happened. I did see a good therapist, two good therapists, who helped me figure out some things and gave me the tools to figure out the rest. You can, too.
Isn’t that much better? No more sad, mean resolutions. Only happy, enjoyable, enriching ones. Happy New Year, Everyone!
Elvira G. Aletta, PhD, Founder & CEO
Life gave Dr. Aletta the opportunity to know what it’s like to hurt physically and emotionally. After an episode of serious depression in her mid-twenties, Dr. Aletta was diagnosed with a rare kidney disease that relapsed throughout her adulthood. While treatable, the cure was often as hard to bear as the disease. Later she was diagnosed with scleroderma, another chronic illness.
Throughout, Dr. Aletta battled with anxiety. Despite all this, Dr. Aletta wants you to know, you can learn to engage in life again on your terms.
Good therapy helped Dr. Aletta. She knows good therapy can help you. That’s why she created Explore What’s Next.
Today Dr. Aletta enjoys mentoring the EWN therapists, focusing on coaching and psychotherapy clients, writing and speaking. She is proud and confident that Explore What’s Next can provide you with therapists who will help you regain a sense of safety, control and joy.
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