Embrace the bumps! Some of the therapists at Explore What’s Next read the same article in the New York Times. Each therapist tackled one of the points in the article. Read the original article, The Confidence Gap for Girls: 5 Tips for Parents of Tween and Teen Girls, then explore Dr. Aletta’s wisdom about point #5.
Embrace the bumps
This is an immediately useful directive for parents more than for the girls. If the school year seems rocky already, instead of resorting to panic or racing to fix things, remember that your daughter actually benefits from challenges. A bumpy path will build more confidence than a smooth one.
As the parent of a daughter, this tip said the most to me. There will be bumps! That’s a given. Some bumps will seem small to you but huge to her. Others may seem huge to you but not such a big deal to her. And then there’s everything in between.
Not panicking is always good advice. If your daughter experiences something that makes you want to run for the hills or scream at the top of your lungs, stop. Literally count to ten, slowly. Breathe, slowly. Once your heart rate is down, speak softly. Get all the information you can before jumping in with a solution.
Hold Back, Listen Give Her The Chance to struggle and Find The Solution
The authors are right. By holding back and actively listening first, you give your daughter the chance to be uncomfortable, to struggle, to find a good-enough solution, and to take action. The more she tackles all that on her own, the more resilient and empowered she becomes.
This was written by:
Elvira G. Aletta, PhD, Founder & CEO
Life gave Dr. Aletta the opportunity to know what it’s like to hurt physically and emotionally. After an episode of serious depression in her mid-twenties, Dr. Aletta was diagnosed with a rare kidney disease that relapsed throughout her adulthood. While treatable, the cure was often as hard to bear as the disease. Later she was diagnosed with scleroderma, another chronic illness.
Throughout, Dr. Aletta battled with anxiety. Despite all this, Dr. Aletta wants you to know, you can learn to engage in life again on your terms.
Good therapy helped Dr. Aletta. She knows good therapy can help you. That’s why she created Explore What’s Next.
Today Dr. Aletta enjoys mentoring the EWN therapists, focusing on coaching and psychotherapy clients, writing and speaking. She is proud and confident that Explore What’s Next can provide you with therapists who will help you regain a sense of safety, control and joy.
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