Next year John and I will be married for twenty-five years! That’s 175 in dog years and sometimes I feel every bloody year. No joke.
It’s a cliché. The couple that lives in the same house year after year, eats together in silence, beaten into boredom by familiarity, forgetting what brought them together in the first place. For the last year John and I worked extra hard to start a new company, opening my new office, and dealing with more lawyers then I ever want to ever see in my life ever again. Talk about fun suckers.
Relationships & Routine!
After twenty-five years how easy is it to fall into a routine of dinner, TV, sleep? Too easy, especially when 30 Rock is on. That’s why when I was home sick recently, what went through my fevered brain was, “I need a date with my husband.”
Vintage Romance Phone Calls
One of the first things prescribed by relationship counselors (I know this because I am one) is reconstituting “date night”. A mini-holiday away from the kids, the chores, the email, to rediscover that sexy guy you married. It’s a great idea but despite our best intentions, we end up with yet another night of dinner, TV, and sleep.
So it was like a little Christmas miracle when I was interrupted last Saturday afternoon standing in line at the library checking out this month’s book club selection. My phone chirped and it was John. Didn’t he say he was going to work all day?
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m at the library standing in line,” obviously, right?
“I’d like to invite you to a wine tasting,” he said, mysteriously.
“Right now. Wanna go?”
“Wow!” Just like that, I felt young and frisky. Doesn’t take much does it? I’m so easy. In a snap I jumped in the car and away we went. Where were the kids? Who cared? When was dinner? Whenever! I was on a spontaneous date with my husband that he initiated!
And I’ve been smiling ever since.
Our phone number is 716.308.6683
You may be thinking to yourself. “Maybe I should call and book an appointment, maybe I don’t need to call.” Trust me when I tell you that if it’s crossed your mind then the answer is a clear yes. Go ahead and call.
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If you find that your relationships are strained with your spouse, your children, and even your friends and co-workers then let us know. The Explore What’s Next Therapists are experts in relationships. We hold graduate level degrees that range from Masters level to PhD’s in several different emotional and mental health fields. Call us or contact us so that we can help you.
Here are some articles the Explore What’s Next staff has written about relationships.
Earlier today a young woman pointed out to me that stagnation can happen at any point in a marriage. Kids (the younger they are the higher the maintenance), school parent duty, jobs, elderly parents, financial stress, can burden a marriage way before the silver anniversary. So it’s not the years, it’s the mileage.