My brother’s childhood best friend committed suicide. I was 16 years old at the time, Mark (not his real name) was 21. Mark’s parents were close friends of my parents; we played together as little kids, he was my first crush. We drifted apart as we grew up. Mark was a Kennedy-esque figure to me, handsome and smart. Everyone expected great things when he went off to an Ivy League law school. Then he was dead.
I have a vivid memory of walking around the neighborhood with Mark’s brother at night. The adults were sitting shiva and he had to get away. Suddenly he grabbed a fallen branch and wailed it on the trunk of a tree. Raw anger.
This family did heal. Before support groups or national days of recognition, they talked about the conflicting emotions pain, anger, guilt. The same tape kept playing in everyone’s head:
If only… If only… They used therapy, the love of family, friends and good works, to find their way through. They found a way to forgive.
Today is National Survivors of Suicide Day. Around the country, there will be gatherings, rallies for awareness and support.
If you suspect someone you care for is thinking of suicide tell them out loud that you are worried about them and ask if they have thought of harming themselves. Get over your fear of offending them and imagine if they are dead tomorrow, will you regret not asking? If the answer is yes, then follow the guidelines provided by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. You won’t regret it.via WBFO Surviving After Suicide of Family Member
Elvira G. Aletta, PhD, Founder & CEO
Executive & Personal Coaching, Individual & Relationship Counseling
Life gave Dr. Aletta the opportunity to know what it’s like to hurt physically and emotionally. After an episode of serious depression in her mid-twenties, Dr. Aletta was diagnosed with a rare kidney disease that relapsed throughout her adulthood. While treatable, the cure was often as hard to bear as the disease. Later she was diagnosed with scleroderma, another chronic illness.
Throughout, Dr. Aletta battled with anxiety. Despite all this, Dr. Aletta wants you to know, you can learn to engage in life again on your terms.
Good therapy helped Dr. Aletta. She knows good therapy can help you. That’s why she created Explore What’s Next.
Today Dr. Aletta enjoys mentoring the EWN therapists, focusing on coaching and psychotherapy clients, writing and speaking. She is proud and confident that Explore What’s Next can provide you with therapists who will help you regain a sense of safety, control and joy.
716.308.6683 | draletta@explorewhatsnext.com
Good post Dr. Aletta!
I’ve made my family and friends aware of this day. They were devastated after my attempt in July. Frankly, I’m amazed at how many people it impacted.
One of my most vivid memories is me in the trauma unit and seeing my brother, who is an emotional rock, weeping hysterically. I’ll never forget that moment.
Have a great day!
Rob
Dear Rob,
That’s a very powerful image. Thank God for your family and your life. We never know how many lives we touch do we? How much people count on us just being there. Just so you know, you’ve brought light to my life, too.
Thank you for sticking around.
Thanks Dr. Aletta!