Today is my twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. Ours is not a perfect marriage, thank God, and I certainly do not assume that what worked for us will do for everyone. Being in a romantic mood, however, I thought I'd share some of what I think got us here. Not in order of importance…

  1. Not being afraid of a good fight.
  2. Honoring the four rules of engagement.
  3. I learned to save a penny.
  4. He learned to live in the moment.
  5. Respect.
  6. Holding hands.
  7. Avoiding sarcasm.
  8. Not sweating the small stuff.
  9. Each wanting the other to be happy.
  10. Apologizing quickly.
  11. Saying thank you, also quickly.
  12. Remembering we're on the same team.
  13. Honoring each other as co-parents.
  14. Listened, even when it was hard.
  15. Not trying to 'fix it' unless asked.
  16. Maintaining reasonably healthy habits.
  17. Investing in each others' individual dreams.
  18. Caring for each others' families.
  19. Provided safe emotional haven for each other.
  20. Learned intimacy is about a hell of a lot more than sex.
  21. Called to check in if plans changed. 
  22. We laugh.
  23. Enjoyed a good glass of wine (or is it a glass of good wine?).
  24. Proud of what we've managed to do with our lives so far.
  25. Married the right person to begin with.

Photo courtesy of Wouter van Doorn via Flickr