Look for The Real Deal: Advice for Tweens and Moms every Thursday!

Dear Real Deal,

My best friend is awesome… and just so happens to be a boy. We hang out all the time and have a blast each time, but everyone keeps thinking we’re dating when really we’re just really, really good friends. It drives me insane when the other girls in my grade come up to me and ask me if we’ve kissed yet! But I’m also completely and utterly confused, because if people think we’re going out does that mean we should go out? Please help me!

Confused in Connecticut   

~*~Vanessa’s Take~*~

Dear Confused in Connecticut,

Let me just start out by saying good for you.  A lot of girls wouldn’t have the guts to have a best friend who is a boy for this exact reason.  Secondly, don’t listen to anything these girls say, whether it be "Oh, have you kissed him yet?" or "You guys are going out! Oh my gosh!" because really it’s none of their business.  They apparently have no "love life" and to extinguish the urge to have a "love life" they insist on shoving their noses in someone else’s business.  Also just because people are thinking your going out with someone doesn’t mean you should be.  Remember: NEVER do something for somebody else’s reasons, only go out with this boy if it is what YOU want!

-Vanessa <3

Mom’s POV…..

Dear Confused in Connecticut,

There’s not a lot I can add to what Vanessa advises.   It’s all good.  You give me the impression that you are  the kind of independent person  who  generally makes her own decisions and that’s a very good thing.   The topic of boys, however, does tend to  mess up our judgment at times no matter what our age!   And when the very people who are supposed to be our friends don’t understand it can hurt as well as confuse.  Going back to basics, and asking yourself, "What do I want?" leaving out the noise of other people’s voices, and listening for that voice in your heart, helps me and maybe it will help you.

Dr. A 🙂