Dear Real Deal,
My parents recently got divorced and before you start to think, ‘Oh, you poor child! How hard this must be for you!’ let me tell you, no, not really.  I am actually happy that my parents split up. They just weren’t getting along like they used to.  They would always fight, and I found it hard to stay at home. I find that divorced parents are a reief. No more stress, no more anxiety, no more depression!!  Which is why I am writing this, I mean is it wrong to feel relief after your parents just split up?  Is there something wrong with me?

Reluctantly Relieved

real deal graphic, pik with photo of two tweens todays topic divorced parents

Our experts weigh In On divorced parents & the tween!

~*~ Vanessa’s Take~*~
Dear Reluctantly Relieved,
First of let me just say there is absolutely nothing wrong with you! And second, I’d like to point out that it is very mature of you to realize that this was the right thing for your parents to do.  As for what you should do in the mean time, why not call up a best friend or cousin, someone you feel close to and can trust with anything and just tell them what’s going on, talk to them, because trust me whenever you feel like something is wrong with yourself [which is completely false!] your closest friends and family will always have something to say that will lift you spirits.

-Vanessa <3

Dear Reluctantly Relieved,

What you are experiencing is natural given the degree stress you were living with before your parents separated.  Since I don’t know much about your particular situation I’ll just say that it looks like your parents did what was best for them, for their relationship and ultimately for you.  I’m hoping this means you have a good, healthy relationship with both parents and that that isn’t going to change.  Even so, divorce is a big adjustment for the entire family and feelings can change.  If you are concerned at all about anything, let your parents know directly.  Don’t keep them guessing.  Feelings don’t have a right or wrong.  You are fine, whatever you are feeling and, as Vanessa points out, having trustworthy friends and family to share with makes the burden lighter.

Dr. Aletta 🙂