Valentine’s Day can be a cruel holiday. If you’re single, just going into Walgreens is risking feeling judged for not being coupled up right now. If you’re with the wrong person, how can you end a relationship on Valentine’s Day? And what if you think you’re in love, but deep down you know you’re just settling because you’re afraid  this is as good as it gets. It can be so confusing. To help us see more clearly, Dr. Mira Kirshenbaum wrote several books, Women & Love, Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay, I Love You But I Don’t Trust You. In her kind, direct, no nonsense voice, Dr. Kirshenbaum is clear that we can find true love as long as we stay true to ourselves. And that is something to celebrate! Here are her nine ways to see if your love is true…


  • It’s not just how you feel about him. It’s about how he makes you feel about yourself.

  • It’s not about losing yourself in him. It’s about becoming true to yourself with him.

  • It’s not about how great he is. It’s about how great you can become along side him.

  • It’s not about how much you love him. It’s about how much he helps you love yourself.

  • It’s not about his finding room in his heart for you. It’s about his finding room in his life for your energy, drive, ambition, passions and interests.

  • It’s not just about how good he is deep down. It’s about how you experience his goodness as you live your life together.

  • It’s not about how he makes you hungry to be with him. It’s about how much he makes you feel at home when you are with him.

  • It’s not about the love you share. It’s about your ability to fully, equally, deeply share your life together.

  • It’s about falling in like.