Out of curiosity I posted a question on my Facebook and Twitter feed: “Valentine’s Day. Love it? Or Dread it?”
Of all the responses I received one, only ONE, enthusiastic reader said she “LOVEEES Valentine’s Day!” She didn’t say why, but I got the feeling she is one of those people who is infectiously happy most of the time. She made me smile even as I responded, “So far you’re the only one in my little survey who loves Valentine’s Day. I hope yours is as wonderful is you wish. :-)”
Most people, on the other hand, those who appeared to be in happy, settled relationships, could take it or leave it. A few said their anniversary was much more important to them. Flowers were nice in V-day but not a deal breaker. This response is a good example:
“I have now been married almost twenty-seven years and I can honestly say that not ONE day defines the love that I have experienced from this wonderful man in my life…”
How sweet is that? OK, please do not gag. In the interest of full disclosure I happen to fall into this category. I know how fortunate I am, like this young woman who said,
“I’m indifferent to it. To me, it’s another day. The day I truly want to express my love to my husband is on our anniversary. That being said, I do like to acknowledge the day somehow, like with a card. And I’d never turn away flowers or any other type of surprise. :)”
On the other hand, a lot of people wrote:
“Dread, hugely dread” it, “Dread it immensely!” or “Hate it!!!”
They didn’t say why but I can risk a guess that it has to do with the intense spotlight on coupledom on this one day especially if you are a singleton.
“I think it had bigger meaning when I was single!!! Really…. no big deal now. Buy the kids some chocolates and the hubby those nasty necco hearts that he likes the taste of and call it a day! But when I was single, man, Valentines day sucked.”
Yes, it’s sucky to have singleness held up as if it is an aberration when really, being single is often a GOOD CHOICE! If you are leaving a bad relationship, haven’t found the right person who appreciates you, or maybe you just like your independence and freedom to sleep in as long as you like, why shouldn’t you celebrate that!?
One Twitter follower wrote, “Does anyone love Valentine’s Day? Whether in a couple or single, it seems to cause trouble.”
An excellent observation! As if there weren’t enough pressure, the jewelers, card purveyors, chocolatiers and florists of the world conspire to inflate great expectations for the “Perfect Valentine’s Day.” Pity the boys. They seem to be most pressured to perform according to the commercial script, and you know what happens to men when they are pressured to perform. Limpsville!
A little advice: Take your partner off the hook. If you want a special V-day, take responsibility to make it happen in as low key way as possible.
And what does a single person do on the dreaded Valentine’s Day?
“I make sure I give myself some love and chocolates :)”
Works for me! Whether married or single, in a relationship or breaking up, a good dose of Self Love is always prescribed!
So you choose! In sweet solitude or with a friend, consider ordering dinner in, followed by a snuggle under a cozy blanket with either a bowl of popcorn, your favorite dark, dark chocolate, ice cream, a glass of wine (or vodka as suggested by an FB friend), or all of the above. Then order up your favorite movie or episode of Bones…
Could make for a sweet, sweet Valentine on February 14th or any night!
Photo courtesy Kelvin255 via Flickr